These past four days have been quite busy for me. It was filled with bitter and sweet moments and memories. Last Friday I attended the memorial service of my dearly beloved Aunty Vicky. She was one of my favorite aunts. I practically grew up at her house during my early childhood. She and my mom go way back and have much history together. They have  shared many of life’s precious moments together and have had their fair share of bitter and  sweet memories. Through the challenges of life, my mom and Aunty Vicky swore to be blood sisters forever and that they were.  Despite their differences, their love and commitment to each other and family  span six decades.

Aunt Vicky  was always there for us for all of life’s challenges and triumphs.  She was an amazing and incredible woman indeed and always gave us great medical advice throughout the years.

Although I knew she was a great nurse, I never fully knew about her background until last Friday. Apparently she was a nurse practitioner and a professor at various Universities. She was an amazing nurse and was revered by many great doctors. Her father was a Consulate General of China. Despite her amazing background, she was always humble and spoke very little of herself. I admired  her grace, humility, love and wisdom. She always seemed to  know what to say and do in all circumstances.

As a child I would frequently stay at her place and hung out with her two children. They were obviously groomed for greatness. I was just a ordinary kid from Chinatown trying to survive and understand their world and reality. My home environment  was somewhat chaotic and had no structure but Aunty Vicky’s home was filled with structure, guidance and rules. Consequently, I found myself always getting into trouble. LOL! I was very innocent and did as I pleased. Eventually, I began to be fearful of Aunty Vicky and was even intimated by her highly ambitious and highly intelligent children. Nonetheless, I tried my best to have fun and fit in. I knew I was nothing like them but just watched and learned from all of them every educational summer.

I didn’t realize at first but eventually some of their socialization and their strive for academic excellence soaked in me.  When I entered college, I strove for academic success and excellence. I made it into the Phi Kappa Phi Honor Society and the National Golden Key Club. Little did I know that  this Golden Key club was just the beginning of Something Great. It was years later I got the metaphorical key to unlock the gateway to the Universe, Cosmic and I AM Presence. It is also ironic that my books are dubbed the Golden Book Trilogy Series.

I can’t help but give some important credit to Aunty Vicky for inspiring me to be where I am today. She never stopped learning and even went back to school in her thirties to become a nurse practitioner and professor. She was always willing to share all her knowledge to all of us to empower our health and well-being.

She  called me a few weeks back out of the blue and asked me to bring her some Vitamin B 12.  I was completely flabbergasted by her call since I have not seen her for quite some time but did as she wished. I dropped by her house and brought her all sorts of goodies including vitamins, adaptive devices and good old fashion Chinese food.

She was so delighted to see me and we had such a delightful time chatting. It was nice talking to her as an adult versus seeing her because I was in trouble like I often did as a child. LOL! She told me how proud she was of her family, children and  grandchildren. I know she loved her children very much as she often talk fondly of them.

She also told me how proud she was of me and how my mom loved me very much and talked about me often with reference, love and admiration. She was extremely proud of my literary achievements and was extremely proud of me being an author of two books. It was so  touching to hear her kind words. I realize sometimes it is difficult for parents to express their love directly to their children especially Chinese parents. I believe they are extra tough with us because they want us to strive for excellence because they want us to have a better life than they did. I guess you can call it tough love.

As I walked around her house, I remember  about my childhood there. I was drawn to one particular painting. It was a famous one called the Eight Immortals. I stood there admiring it. Aunty Vicky later came over and strangly told me how I could have it when she dies.  In retrospect, it seemed quite eerie what Aunty Vicky said to me. Was she predicting her upcoming moment of departure?

A month before that, my mom visited Aunty Vicky with her caregiver. As they parted after the visit, my mom found it extremely difficult to say goodbye. She kept getting out of the car as she was leaving and going back to Aunty Vicky to give her a hug which is unusual for my mom. Perhaps deep down inside she knew that this would be the last they would ever be able to express their love and affection to one another. Her caregiver was deeply touched by this expression of love and cried when she read this tribute because she knew how much they loved each other.

Two weeks ago, I received a call from her son telling me the tragic news of Aunty Vicky falling. She was in critical condition. She apparently  had a bad fall the previous day. It was ironic that I was somehow  thinking about that Eight Immortal painting during the week of  Aunty Vicky’s  death. I rushed over to the hospital the very next morning because I felt deep inside me that  time was very precious and critical.

When I made it to her bedside, I saw her in such a tragic state with all sorts of technology attached to her as well as a trach tube for breathing. I quickly looked at her vital signs and they were all stable. However, she was in a deep coma and was unresponsive to voice or touch stimulus. I put my hand on her arm and began to meditate to try and reach her in some deep or subtle way. After some time, I was able to begin feeling her consciousness. Shortly after, I began connecting with her in the inner realm. She was sad at what had transpired and very sad that I had to see her this way. I told her to come back to conscious awareness and fight to live again. Although she could do it, she made a decision to surrender her body and to move on.

She knew that if she would come back she would never be the same and would be essentially a vegetable. She loved her children and grandchildren very much and did not want to burden them with all the suffering they would endure by taking care of her. I cried because I wanted her to stay but she realized the pain I was going through and began to regroup herself and tell me she was happy now and free from all the pain and suffering and she was ready to move on. She changed her demeanor from a sad and tearful one to one that was happy and peaceful to move on in her journey.

As we disconnected from that inner realm, I cried profusely. As I left with my wife, I told her that Aunty Vicky is ready to move on. That evening she died. Her funeral service was beautiful and many attended this memorial service. The chapel was packed with all the lives she had touched.

After the service and burial service, we all convened at a local restaurant. Relatives of the family gave us a beautiful video presentation of Aunty Vicky. She was such a beautiful child and adult. She aged to a certain point but stopped aging anymore. Although she was eighty years of age, she looked twenty to thirty years younger. She took measures to take good care of her nutrition, health  and skin.

During the dinner, family and friends all took turns talking about their fond memories of this amazing and extraordinary  women. I felt a strong prompting from within to stand up and  speak but just couldn’t get myself to do that. I was overcome with emotions.

Many spoke about many wonderful things about Aunty Vicky from an academic, intellectual and comical level. I was amazed at how easy it was for the speakers  to talk about Aunty Vicky so cavalier. Perhaps I am just wimp wishing to simply talk about the emotional experiences I we had together. However, I felt that I connected with her at a deeper and different  level and it would be hard to talk about her.

My wife  kept looking at me when there was a pause between speakers. I kept shaking my head and telling her, I am not a speaker but a writer. I told her I would  write a beautiful tribute.

As more people spoke, the audience began to just tune out and focus on their meals or private conversations as  the chatter in the restaurant began  increasing. It was more reason why I shouldn’t do it. No one would listen anyways, right? By now, the dinner was coming towards an end. The prompting from within began to be much more pronounced for me to get up and say something. My wife again looked at me and now I knew I had to get up and not worry about me but to speak.

It was now or never. I mustered enough courage and allowed my Divine Presence to guide my actions. I  briskly walked over after the last speaker and grabbed the mic and began to speak but soon found myself overcome with emotions. I turned away from the audience to regroup myself. As soon as I started speaking, I just opened my heart and spoke passionately about Aunty Vicky. I noticed the entire restaurant got really silent and all eyes and attention were directed towards me. I told them about the beautiful relationship that Aunty Vicky had with my mom despite their differences.

My mom was a beauty queen and former  runway model. She was a socialite and enjoyed many privileges not enjoyed by many. Meanwhile, Aunty Vicky  was the  intellectual and academic type. She was more of an introvert while my mom was an extrovert. My mom was street smart while Aunty Vicky was smart with money. How they became best friends and eventually sisters is quite amazing. However, regardless how life would try to keep them apart, they would always find time to take care of each other. My mom loved her so much  so that despite her ill health, she would still visit her and give her a plethora of food and things that she would like. Aunty Vicky suffered pain for many years but still had time to visit my mom or keep in contact on the phone. Whenever my mom would talk about her she was always so  happy.

Aunty Vicky had a positive influence on my mom, my family and myself. I went on to talk about how Aunty  Vicky  and her family have inspired me to be the person I am today. I closed by saying how despite she is physically gone, she is still with us. Her love and insatiable quest for knowledge is always with me. If I share her values, passions and love to all I meet, I keep her alive with me always. After my speech, a enthusiastic round of applause filled the restaurant.

As I sat down, my sister told me I had delivered a great speech. My wife  said the same thing and was so proud of me for doing it. She knew I had something special and unique  to share about our beloved aunt. I was not concerned with the applause or nice words but more concerned with sharing my love of Aunty Vicky. I felt a great peace and serenity that filled my soul for having spoke up. As I left the restaurant, I could feel Aunty Vicky’s consciousness reaching out to me. She was very happy and proud of me for sharing my stories to others. Aunty Vicky  was a woman of Greatness. She will always be alive in my heart and in all the  many lives she has touched and inspired. I love you Aunty Vicky now and forever!

Love,

Blake Sinclair

#love #tribute